The Apology by Jimin Han

Author:Jimin Han [Han, Jimin]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Little, Brown and Company
Published: 2023-08-02T00:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 16

Now I stood in front of my grandson’s house. Gwangmu’s son’s house. I looked more closely at it, allowing the others to go ahead. Sons weren’t supposed to die before their mothers. Joyce had a chance to save her son. I had not. The wide porch was made of dark wood, and gray stone supported a dark slate roof. I paused on the walkway. Siwon would have liked this house. I was reminded again of one of the last times we spoke.

We were writing less and less by then, arguing more and more on the phone. It seemed I had a talent for disagreeing with everyone. I said I didn’t like any of Frank Lloyd Wright’s houses. He said I didn’t appreciate quality. Did it matter? I asked. He said it mattered and hung up the phone. In the past he used to be amused by my disagreements with him and seemed to see them as opportunities to tease me and show off. But I knew it was because I had stopped visiting him in America. Everyone was going to Colorado without me.

That was the past. Now Mina was already on the porch, at the door, and was waving to us to hurry. The taxi driver was piling the suitcases on top of one another on the sidewalk behind me. When I made it up to the porch, Mina, Aera, and Chohui were nowhere to be found. I considered sitting in the large rocking chair by the formidable cypress front door and waiting for them. Let them visit with my family. How much effort had Mina and Aera made over the years to get to know my grandchildren? Did they know anything about my grandchildren’s children? That thought pulled me up short. I wondered how many great-grandchildren I actually had. I couldn’t recall ever hearing about any births. Had Bogum said anything about Ned or Pam having children?

I was settling into the rocking chair when Chohui opened the door and stuck her head out.

“What are you doing there, samonim?” she asked.

“If you’re coming to get the suitcases, don’t bother,” I said. “I’ll keep an eye on them from here.”

“But samonim, everyone is waiting for you inside,” she said and headed down the steps. This was new. An impudence. Did she think she knew better than I did about such matters? When we returned to Korea, would she challenge every direction I gave? Bringing her to the United States was going to prove to be a thorn in my side for years to come. Or so I thought.

“Chohui, don’t make me repeat myself,” I said.

She halted on the stairs and pivoted back to me. “I could put the suitcases on the porch.”

“Do you see anyone about?” I waved toward the street. “This is not a place where people come and snatch your belongings. And besides, we’re leaving very soon. It would be a wasted effort on your part.” That last I added because she had started to slump.

“If you’re sure,” she said and walked back up the steps to me.

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